I don’t live with death. In fact, death is almost forbidden in my country. This means, I believe, that a whole population is living in some kind of a dream world or the dream-that-will-never-happen-world. Or even worse – a-dream-that-has-already-happened-world.
Yesterday my oldest son told me his wish for the summer: I needed to promise that I would take a swim in the very nearby lake from where we live. He takes a swim everyday even if it’s a storm or rains. He loves it – so did I once. Until I realised it was like going to the dentist. Pain, horror and the reward afterwards sucked (a towel? C’mon). Seriously, I believe I will die of a heartattack everytime I get into that cold freezing water around 18 C. I don’t want to expose myself to that unless I feel like it. I can winter-bathe but give me beverages and 80 C sauna so that ice-cold thing does some good.
I’d do anything – but what?
Family ties are strong. Community ties are sometimes weaker than national. Except in sports, maybe. I would do anything to protect my family to immediate threats – but thing is – there are no. Maybe wasps or cars or the lake are the most critical threats. So all that is covered by security in absurdum – everyday. Soon we will have helmets in our cars. But, there are other threats that worries me more (and then not considering personal health, crazy accidents etc) and those threats are global and systematic. And we all ignore it, we (at least some of us in the north hemisphere) live in a dream-world where we have everything and where we can do anything. But everywhere around us the problems are gathering and they are all moving towards our way of living. We need to change. We will be forced to change. Drastically. And I would like to do anything to make the change less dramatic. To make the change a good thing and not a disaster. And to be able to create opportunities that creates something new and sustainable. And I need to be able to do it in time – when the shit hits the fan it will be too late. So the challenge is: how can you in 6-12 months change people and the way we live. How can we do it systematically? Since I have a family and a job I can only spend about 2 hours per day. Where can I sign up? I want to contribute. Where’s the leadership? Where’s the vision? Where’s the task-list? Where are 2DO-lists for common good?
The fear shall not be underestimated
Psychologically it’s more efficient to present something that will make your life better than presenting a threat and the solution to avoid it. In other words it’s easier (and perhaps smarter) to sell a nice beverage than an.. own well in the garden. But if you have the choice you could sell both on the same pitch. Avoid the trouble and get new benefits.
People’s fears are controlling them sadly. It should be love instead. People’s love to each other should be guides for action. People’s sense of compassion and the same love we show our families should be our values that enables us to interact with our community, city, region, nation, continent and planet. Fear sets boundaries and borders – love tear walls down.
I’m not saying we should all go to lala-land and love everyone. But, maybe we could really stretch our own boundaries and realise we are all here on the planet together and for a limited amount of time. Then perhaps gun control issues or religion or your professional role in society won’t matter so much. We shall all die and isn’t happiness something we all want? And isn’t sharing resources something that is the most just “system” we could all agree upon? Of course, this works when there’s an abundance of resources, but then again if the resources are NOT enough – how shall we play it today globally? Shouldn’t we systematically make sure we create enough resources – for humanity’s sake? Ok, that’s impossible you might say. Yes, it was for around 10-20 years ago, but not now. We have every opportunity in the world at the moment. Internet is ubiquitous and the world is flat. There’s plenty of room for a leader or two stepping up.
When I died
I believe I was around 15-16. I decided to change – to be someone else. I was pretty sure that I wasn’t an alien. But I wanted to provoke and to be someone at least. I just did it, changed my appearance so that it represented how I felt. What would I truly look like now? Hmm.. I would probably look like a thai monk. It’s very difficult to change your own habits as a grown-up. I believe many are struggling with their lives finding the right balance between eating and exercise, and saving and spending, and loving and hating.. giving up your current life is hard – you have to die somehow and be re-born. Maybe you need to die once in a while.. It’s easy really. You just say to yourself one morning: “The old me sadly died yesterday. What does the new me want to do with the future?” Pretend deaths are not that painful as the real ones.
My future death
Let’s say I’ll live until I’m 85 (I hope I’ll reach 100, tho). Let’s say 4th November 2053. Then my kids will be 50, 45 and 42. Wow. About my age now. Shit – I’m gonna die. *panic* Or maybe not, I have many years left..
In all those movies where the main character gets 6 months left to live due to cancer or something, then they start to live. THEN they understand life, then they start caring and understanding. Then everything in life turns into good stuff. So why not practise death every 7 years? Or 3-4 years maybe? Or whatever time period that gives you panic.
Life now and in the future – goals and a Vision
I don’t want to die, I want to live and have a life. I want to feel alive. In the same time giving up something you have been doing for a long time that you suspect is not good for you is also like dieing. I don’t wanna quit. How long time is enough hanging in limbo between life and death? You do something everyday that’s more like death than life. Isn’t it better to just change and go into the unknown abyss of the future? Probably, but if you’re sure why the old behaviour is bad or what you are going to you better figure it out. And don’t waste years on defeat. Don’t waste years on not living.
Where do you wanna be in 5 years? How are you going to get there? What’s the first smallest step towards it you can take? Can you set a goal? Can you answer “why?” every moment if the day? Doubt.. what do you need it for? How does it benefit you? Can you trust yourself? How can trust and belief in yourself benefit you? Just die… and be reborn instantly. Give up, wake up and live.
I wanna do, see and measure the effects of the change in realtime – and I need the feeling of being safe and secure along the path I’m going. And probably need help of lots of people. But it seems like half the globe is in some kind of dream state. They don’t want any change whatsoever – they already live in their vision. The moon is already conquered. Any change can only lead to something bad since it’s perfect now. To change oneself is hard work, to change other people is almost impossible. How do you do?
“Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished? I can offer you… an escape”
I fear death and I might not love life enough to really create some change. I do not want to take that dip in the ice-cold water – I might die of it – there must be some gain in it for me. And I need to be in control. But how can I be..? I need to let go. I need to take that plunge, or at least make a decision. I’ll dwell over a while more..